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2011 West Coast Safari Tour
The Ride of the Year 2011
The Reader's Digest version If you're a bit short on time - Fueltanker Allen has summed it up perfectly ... Fueltanker Ride a West Coast Trail Ride and challenge yourself:  To ride some of the best trails in WA. To eat a big steak without guilt. To ride over a huge log knowing there are Crustys there to help or laugh. To trust the line through the water has no surprises. To ride three wide through a two wide corner. To have a go at that hill that looks steeper the longer you look at it. To find traction on a rutted hill that you couldnt walk up. To follow Staino trusting he will get us home. Read on if you're at work - working on _that_ report The Pro-log The annual CQ West Coast tour had it's humble beginnings back in 2006 - now in it's sixth year it's the event not to be missed - like Christmas for a six year old. The expectations grow each year and somehow Staino and crew up the ante and continue to exceed those expectations. Would this be the case in 2011? - only time will tell. Like Christmas - the build up is the key part The Star Every year a star is born - who would it be this year? You can't audition for this part - you somehow must stand out and try to emulate the ultimate star - DavidM the submarine pilot of 2008. He's the Elvis of CQers (or the Michael Jackson if you're a bit younger, or Justin Bieber if you've just jumped on to your Dad's laptop and thinking Facebook is looking a bit different today - yes Facebook ripped off JAWs original idea!). The Weather Will it be wet or dry? Warm or cold? Muddy or some dust? Do I need new tyres or sprockets or a new bike or maybe some talent? Have I enough gear? If you're Mackley you'll need a Factory Rig to haul your gear - spot the industry guy in this group. The Crew Who'll be there from the old crew? H (and the H is silent) is the only one to have attended all tours. Looking back - four of the original nine from 2006 fronted up again in 2011. Two have entered retirement of sorts. Three were on the injury list - peter, Roley & Pounce - and let's all raise a single finger salute to the crew that couldn't make it this year - ya missed it ya silly buggers! Who would be the new crew? And would they make me look even slower than I am? This year - we had the Mid-west CQ Chapter taking the long trip down from Gero - Tony, Brownie, Merv, Jimmie with Colin in tow. Would they miss the deep sand & dust of their homelands? Colin was sporting a 15kg heavier bike with his shiny new DRZ - and a 15kg lighter body with his new trim, taut & terrific look.  The Day Arrives... The Christmas six year old wishes for snow ... which is a big ask if you live in WA. The CQer asks for rain. It was bucketing down in Staino's pre-ride talk. Santa rides a dirt bike. The pre-ride banter turned to the best way to handle the wet and the cold. Andrew, Wrexie, Jeff & I debated the best approach... Andrew: P*ss in your pants - that's the go! Wrexie: No way - that attracts the sharks! Oh how we laughed - little did we realise that three of us four would be swimming before the weekend was out. "Hey Staino - what's the forecast for the weekend?" Response "Who cares? It is what it is". And we're off. First destination is the West Coast Ride park - on the way we very quickly get re-acquainted with the brown tacky slippery substance called - that's it - mud. A short ride away - and Guestie turns out to be a short term Guestie as he's taken some good tumbles in the ride park and injured a shoulder. He rides the bitumen to Nannup and exits the tour. Major bummer - hopefully see you back out there soon Guestie. By day's end we'll have a lost another rider in KTMLee who's had a bingle and twisted his ankle. The conditions are tricky this year. The rain continued on for the morning - making visibility an issue - with foggy goggles all round. Luckily I have spent approximately $17K over the years on dirt bike magazines with the same twenty top tips recycled every couple of months. I pulled out tip #7 from my backpack - the trusty Bunnings $10 safety glasses. They worked a treat ... for about ten seconds. Then they fogged up and one of the arms broke off. Damn you ADB! I'm all for the adventure of tackling the elements but by lunch time I was getting a bit cold & wet - and my $20 rain-gear was showing it's true value. Lo & behold - that was it for the rain for the weekend while we rode. Conditions were tip-top from that point on. The Trails Brownie has nailed it - and Brownie Poetry Productions have kindly allowed it to be reprinted here under strict copyright: The pea gravel drifting The single track tunnel vision The pine forest slicing The slippery climb up Hoo Haa The many rutted tractoring hills The Scenery The fenceline screamers The turning off a smooth gravel road into sweet sweet single trail Mackleys culvert crash dive The Oh So Sneaky clay patches Micks "Tommynator" moment The top bunch of blokes Great memories  The Bench Racing The eventful day one was finished with a night of bench racing at the Northcliffe pub. Day one is normally the busy one - we'd lost two riders - we could settle in for a cruisy day two with everybody in the zone - or so we thought. Sunday morning - big brekky - and we were prepping to leave just before 9am. Bags packed, trailer ready for the off, big rain during the night. Staino's doing a final count of riders - gets to 21-22-23 - "Hey Staino?" shouts Colin - "What?" is the frustrated reply - knowing it's a restart of the counting - "Can you get those pants for blokes too?" says Colin eyeing off Staino's pastel green & purple coloured rain pants. Cheeky bastiches these CQers. Today was going to be a Big day ... Big stacks Quickly out of Northcliffe we ducked off into some beautiful flowing tracks through the trees. Nice and open with gentle inclines and sweeping bends. All except for one slight downhill with a deceptively tight off camber left with a drop off on the right into a culvert. Mackley over-cooked it and ended up smack in the culvert. The picture tells it's own story.  Many would try to outdo that today - but none could quite match it. SOTD for Mackley. Jeff had a speccy off on entry into a pine forest section. A wide sweeping right angle was begging for a low powerslide entry. As his front slid out and he hit the deck he glimpsed Wrexie on the downward stroke of the "slow down" wave. Even H who was rarely off the rev limiter on the weekend - in fact he's rarely off the rev limiter full stop - sheepishly admitted to a nice off while accepting the ROTD award back at Staino's at the end of the tour.   Everybody witnessed an off here and there - I was following Merv through some of the "sweet sweet" single track and he kindly pointed out a diagonal log - by kicking his back wheel off it and riding his bike into the ground in a 180 degree pirouette. Thanks Merv! :-) Big hills Out of Manjimup a highlight for the day "Hilux Hill". Many had a crack - but Wrexie was first to make it to the top. Being the shy retiring type his whooping was heard back in Perth - as he taunted everybody from the peak. Brownie's valiant but failed attempt was greeted with the Wrexie song of "IT'S EASY BROWNIE - IT'S EASY BROWNIE - IT'S EASY BROWNIE". Mick's attempt that failed metres from the top was greeted with "GO BACK DOWN MICK - GO BACK DOWN MICK". Martyn cruised to the top, Wombat 530'ed it up there too, Andrew & Allan got there in a couple of attempts. Jeff had a good crack but failed to conquer it. Husky Mike rode up there like he was riding to the shop for a Sunday paper. I'm sure I've forgotten a few more. Tony wanted to go - but was thinking of the long drive back to Gero in the morning - and the possible effects of cartwheeling his sweet 300EXC down the hill. Many more stared - and the hill stared back. None moreso than Fueltanker Allen - his sensible self talked himself out of it - until at the last second - he had a go - and rode to the top like the old pro he is. Wrexie was still hollering at the top of his lungs - would anything dampen his enthusiasm I wondered?   Big swims Staino calmly told us a Blackwood crossing was coming up, but it wouldn't happen it it was too deep and fast. The chairs planted on the far bank was an ominous warning. The pictures tell their own story ... a Walkey award awaits the photographer of these shots... Wrexie's enthusiasm was dampened. I realised my nickname was short for TigeR Shark. Biggles took a dip. Looks like Jimmie had a wash too. Jeff rounded off a big day - with a quick splash too,           The "Tommynator" But the best event was Mick450's "Tommynator". Look at the sequence carefully. Note Staino & Andrew in the grandstand seats - with Tommy safely spectating from the background on a log - and watch it unfold - meanwhile Wrexie takes a bath in the foreground.     The Safety Share Event for the weekend West Coast do a top job in making sure that people are aware of the dangers and Staino is meticulous in dropping a man at those spots. Wrexie rightly pointed out a major safety issue at the lunch stop on Sunday at the Four Aces. Staino didn't have a corner man next to the slippy spot by the sandwiches at the top of the steps to the lunch shelter. Wrexie scores Comedian of the Day - how does Mrs. Wrexie put up with you - she must be a saint! Thanks to all who made this the Ride of The Year - particularly the West Coast crew of Georgina, Staino & Terry. Big thanks to Mick450 who organised the whole event and rightfully scored a voucher for his efforts. The Epi-log I reckon in 2051 - we'll be out there in hotted up gophers with knobby tyres roosting the tartan blankets off each other's laps and ooogling the young 70 year old Pommie waitress at the local pub. Bring it on - mine will be a blue gopher - and Staino will be telling me to upgrade to whoever sponsors him on the day. Roll on 2012 - the deposits are already flowing in. |
